so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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