Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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