i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Never underestimate the power of titties
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
