lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
