the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
