I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
