I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
