living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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