i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
