Well douche your snatch and let's go!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
