Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize