you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
