remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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