This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
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its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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