The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
