So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
