ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
