There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
