today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
