The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
