No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
