I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
