my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
