i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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