I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize