if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
