I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.