shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.