I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
