Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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