xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
