Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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