I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
