If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
