god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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