It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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