When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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