Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
