btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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