Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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