I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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