YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
