I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
