Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
"it" just moved
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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