I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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