Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
