Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize