jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
