so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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