they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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