What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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