I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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