we made out on top of his cat.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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