can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
