I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
