I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
no, he came in my armpit
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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