CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
