Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
