Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You're a waste of cheezeits
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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