There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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