so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
