last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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