Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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